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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 212622 times)
 
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Kevin
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« Reply #75 on: November 04, 2006, 01:08:00 PM »
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some aADULT halloween pics.......enjoy!


http://www.break.com/pictures/halloweengal1.html
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« Reply #75 on: November 04, 2006, 01:08:00 PM »

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VIN
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« Reply #76 on: November 04, 2006, 06:20:47 PM »
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WOWSERS Shocked
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Don
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« Reply #77 on: November 04, 2006, 08:40:54 PM »
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Joe's costume
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Scottie
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« Reply #78 on: November 05, 2006, 10:42:23 PM »
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OUCH! You had to open that box.... now look what you did.


* Sheepguy.jpg (80.98 KB, 640x480 - viewed 217 times.)
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Kevin
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« Reply #79 on: November 06, 2006, 08:12:53 PM »
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so thats ^  what goes on down there in Tucson Grin
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Kevin
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« Reply #80 on: November 09, 2006, 10:09:41 AM »
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Sesame Streets.

no, its not any other ordinary day on Sesame Street.

http://www.break.com/index/martin_scorceses_sesame_streets.html
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« Reply #81 on: November 09, 2006, 10:33:18 AM »
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olympic Ski shooting...the way it should be....

http://www.break.com/index/olympic_skishooting_revamped.html
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« Reply #81 on: November 09, 2006, 10:33:18 AM »

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Don
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« Reply #82 on: November 09, 2006, 12:58:34 PM »
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Sesame Streets.

no, its not any other ordinary day on Sesame Street.

http://www.break.com/index/martin_scorceses_sesame_streets.html


That was well done
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« Reply #83 on: November 12, 2006, 08:43:08 AM »
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<-------------

I "bowrrowed" it from BrokeVW.com
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« Reply #84 on: November 14, 2006, 04:44:01 AM »
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This is good for a hearty laugh!


 


What is a Yankee?
  The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 
 
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
  The position of the dirt bag
 
 
Why is divorce so expensive?
  Because it's worth it.
 
 
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
 
 
Why is air a lot like sex?
  Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
 
 
What do you call a smart blonde?
  A golden retriever.
 
 
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
 
 
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
  10 years and 45 lbs
 
 
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
 
 
Why do men want to marry virgins?
  They can't stand criticism.
 
 
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
  Because those men already have boyfriends.
 
 
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
  After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
 
   
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
  The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
 
 
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
 
 
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
  A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
 
 
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
  "Are you sure it's mine?"
 
 
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
 
 
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
  Everyone has the same DNA.
 
 
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
  Breasts don't have eyes.
 
 
 
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
  A different bar.
 
 
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
 
 
 
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
 
 
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
 
 
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
 
 
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
  Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO"!
 
 
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
 
 
Why is there no Disneyland in China?   
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides  Grin





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« Reply #85 on: November 21, 2006, 08:51:44 AM »
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Firewood

"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes.What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith.
He's a drillin' holes in his firewood and hiding marijuana inside!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

(Who says rednecks aren't bright)
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Scottie
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« Reply #86 on: November 22, 2006, 08:58:57 AM »
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I still cant see it!


* whats_missing.jpg (46.09 KB, 498x726 - viewed 191 times.)
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« Reply #87 on: November 22, 2006, 12:52:09 PM »
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How can you tell when a woman farts? Her pantyhose bulge at the ankles.  Grin
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« Reply #88 on: November 27, 2006, 08:34:02 AM »
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Kind of long, but I figured you desert guys could relate.

My move to ARIZONA

May 30th
Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
Mountains and deserts blended together.
What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home.
I love it here.

June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least it's a dry heat.
Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool.
(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th
Missed our cat, Tabby, sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch,
Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery.
I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and sh__.
No more pets in this heat!

July 25th
Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot!!
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now.
$1,100 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90.
Stupid repairman peed in my pool. I hate this state.

Aug 8th
If another wise-*** cracks, "Hot enough for you today?",
I'm going to rip their throat out. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!!

Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny again today.
It's been too hot to make love for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn barren desert???
Water rationing has been in effect all summer, $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into our half-empty pool.
Even cactus can't live in this heat!!!

Aug 14th
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123
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« Reply #89 on: November 27, 2006, 09:07:03 AM »
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aw but thats just a hint of what its really like  Wink
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« Reply #89 on: November 27, 2006, 09:07:03 AM »

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« Reply #90 on: December 03, 2006, 12:12:15 PM »
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Funny Homer Simpson quote "Remember it takes two to tell a lie. One to tell the lie and one to listen".

You just can't argue with that...  Cheesy   Cheesy   Cheesy

BDD
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Rick G
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« Reply #91 on: December 06, 2006, 07:11:11 PM »
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the link to the trunk monkey quit working.  Angry
Here is new one.  Grin
http://www.trunkmonkey.com/

Don,
When are these going to be in stock? Living in the south I need the alien edition.
Rick
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Don
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« Reply #92 on: December 06, 2006, 09:01:17 PM »
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Soon Cool
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« Reply #93 on: December 08, 2006, 09:24:07 AM »
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You know you're in Arizona when ...
*You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
*You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
*You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
*You can make instant sun tea.
*You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
*The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
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Don
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« Reply #94 on: December 09, 2006, 09:57:40 AM »
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You are right.

I'm going to report you to the moderator, wait I'm the moderator. Cool
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« Reply #95 on: December 10, 2006, 07:06:09 PM »
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Hey Don, I thought you might get a kick out of my new avatar, but I'll change it back now that the weekend is almost over Wink
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Don
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« Reply #96 on: December 11, 2006, 06:09:33 AM »
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Don't, It makes me laugh.
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Joe Chirco
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« Reply #97 on: December 11, 2006, 09:17:52 AM »
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Thats great to see I was not the only one to choke her. Grin
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« Reply #98 on: December 11, 2006, 06:11:25 PM »
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i dont get it? Huh Huh

whos linda lovelace?
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« Reply #99 on: December 11, 2006, 08:13:03 PM »
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i dont get it? Huh Huh

whos linda lovelace?


"Your billing in Deep Throat says,
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