Joke of the day

[VolksDragen]

Lesson #1   Don't BBQ and drive! 

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

Lesson #1   Don't BBQ and drive! 

Lesson 2....  When tailgating at the big game... put the grill outside.   

[buggdude]

  don't tip the bong over in a bus

[VolksDragen]

don't tip the bong over in a bus

Dohh!

[VolksDragen]

Tip of the day: Yield to Blond drivers:

[Kimbo]

Not really politically corerct, but I think funny, none-the-less:

HILLBILLY DAYVORCE
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce, paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, "How can I help you?" The farmer said, "I want to get one of them dayvorces."
The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres" The lawyer said, "No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays." The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a
John Deere. The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?" The farmer said,"Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere" The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?" The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30."
By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question .The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?" The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce."

[buggdude]

Not really politically corerct, but I think funny, none-the-less:

HILLBILLY DAYVORCE
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce, paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, "How can I help you?" The farmer said, "I want to get one of them dayvorces."
The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres" The lawyer said, "No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays." The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a
John Deere. The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?" The farmer said,"Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere" The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?" The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30."
By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question .The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?" The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce."

nice

[Cailleac Bhuer]

Remember kids... Just Say No!!!  See what will happen to your fathers Type 2 during lunch break if you don't!!!  This is Spicolli gone bad!!!   

 

[Cailleac Bhuer]

Tip of the day: Yield to Blond drivers:

Ya, regardless to sex as this driver behind the wheel is male.....    lol

[VolksDragen]

Tip of the day: Yield to Blond drivers:

Ya, regardless to sex as this driver behind the wheel is male.....    lol

Yur right
 You look at the other car it was the one that pushed it way through as both front corners are crunched, And how did that driver get out, sun roof?? 
(I will rephrase the title, 'Yield to A-- H---'s !

[VolksDragen]

A very classy bathroom, At an affordable price!
Brought to you by the 'Redneck DYI home improvement network'
Cost: Ceiling Fan $3.95 from the local Thrift store - goddy swag lamps $free (dumpster find)
Funky '70s' mirror: 50cents from the neighbors mobile home yard sale.
Total cost: $4.45! Wow now that's what I call a bargain

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

How did you get in my house!?!?!?!   

 

[VolksDragen]

How did you get in my house!?!?!?!   

 

Oops sorry! Your wife let us in,
Yours was the best on the block!
Your check is in the mail and thank you for letting us share your mansion with us.
(ps, can we show the kitchen next week?)   

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

How did you get in my house!?!?!?!   

 

Oops sorry! Your wife let us in,
Yours was the best on the block!
Your check is in the mail and thank you for letting us share your mansion with us.
(ps, can we show the kitchen next week?)   

We can do the kitchen... not as nice though.  It has a charcoal grill, toaster oven (without a door), an igloo 'Lil Playmate cooler for a fridge (real fridge is in the "carport" and is filled wth beer, as it should be) and the dish washer is the hose running through the window from my neighbors half-wide mobile home .

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

Here is pic of the post renovation kitchen.

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

Check out this killer tree swing my kids stole got me for an early Christmas present!!
Is it sweet or what???

[Kimbo]

gotta lurve the enginuitee of them thar rednecks !!

[VolksDragen]

LOL
Love that POST renovation kitchen!! That's front cover on the DYI magazine!!!
And that padded tree swing, That would go good with Santa's sleigh decor.
The Tiki torch in the yard is a nice touch, May we suggest two Plastic Flamingo's also?!
I see the tarp came off of the roof though

Talon; For your fine taste in the Home improvment arts, You now have another Karma!

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

LOL
Love that POST renovation kitchen!! That's front cover on the DYI magazine!!!
And that padded tree swing, That would go good with Santa's sleigh decor.
The Tiki torch in the yard is a nice touch, May we suggest two Plastic Flamingo's also?!
I see the tarp came off of the roof though

Talon; For your fine taste in the Home improvment arts, You now have another Karma!

Thanks a lot!!!!  I appreciate that!!    We did have flamingos in the yard, but a "blue hair, snowbird" redneck from Naples, Florida stole them.  I would have lit the tiki torch for the picture, but I used the last of the gasoline on the grillstove in the house.

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

Here are some shots of my Christmas decor.  I know it's mid November, but you can never get them lights up soon enough!!

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

Forgot my tree!!!  The kids decorated it last night (and no... they did not drink all of that beer!!).

[VolksDragen]

   ROTF - LOL Heee-Heee-Heee, That's so Hilarious I can't stop LOL-ing

[VolksDragen]

Have you seen my new Chevy extended cab, Just got it out of the paint shop!
Below is my new motor home, I got a great deal on her

[Neil]

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
 
And she was understandably upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
 
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
 
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
 
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
 
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
 
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
 
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
 
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
 
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
 

 

 

[Rob 57 Oval (Talon)]

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
 
And she was understandably upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
 
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
 
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
 
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
 
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
 
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
 
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
 
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
 
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
 

 

 

LMFAO!!!!   Sounds like a story that could happen here.