Joke of the day

[Rick G]

I was talking to one of my customers yesterday, he said his girlfriend called him a pedophile. As you can imagine he was quite upset, but his was also a little proud because that was a big word for an 8 year old.

[Mykul]

I was talking to one of my customers yesterday, he said his girlfriend called him a pedophile. As you can imagine he was quite upset, but his was also a little proud because that was a big word for an 8 year old.

 

[Rick G]

OK, no more pedophile jokes

This is a little more family friendly


A man goes to a clinic and the doctor comments on his ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes
from my family."

"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family history affect your high blood pressure?"


He sighed. "You oughta meet her mother sometime, Doc!"

[Kimbo]

  - ain't that the truth !!

[Rick G]

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

[Rick G]

This has been determined to be a fabricated story, but still good:

[Kimbo]

ahh, so you mean he didn't actually slip and fall off the curb, that was obviously the fabricated part

[Rick G]

Seen in a hotel parking lot.

[Don]

This belongs here.
Is there a Palin fan left in this world?

Sarah Palin: Paul Revere Warned The British

[Rick G]

NPR, masters of liberal spin, grudgingly admit she was basically right. All these people getting down on Palin should actually look at her statements and compare her misstatements to say Joe Biden, Barry Obama, John Kerry, Al Gore, John McCain, Nancy Pelosi etc etc. She has not made nearly as many stupid comments as these people have, and for the most part her gaffs have not been anywhere as stupid as the others I mentioned.  I rarely believe what I see on SNL or The Daily Show.

[Don]

Rick, you are correct.
But comparing one bad presentation to other bad presentation is kind of odd.
Two/twenty wrongs don't make a right.

No one knows everything and not knowing something does not make you a fool.
In my opinion, what makes a person a fool is covering up the fact you don't know everything.
She could have done a much better sound bite.
That was what was disappointing to me.

This was interesting from the last election, but still true today

Matt Damon Slams Sarah Palin

[Kimbo]

Mmm, interesting. The folks I hang around with that have any interest in US politics, seem to reckon Obamarama may not make another term - in fairness I can't say honestly whether that's a good or bad thing, and don't believe its my place to comment on it either.

However, it seems that you guys are in the same boat that we were a few years back with the looming "threat" of the first female President/Prime Minister - and I'm not being sexist here, don't forget I'm originally from England and grew up under the Margaret Thatcher administration, and to me she did a brilliant job. We had Julia Gillard chomping at the bit to kick K-Rudd in the backside and take over, and she eventually succeeded. You've got Sarah Palin - the only difference is that I reckon Sarah Palin's a fox and has some entertainment factor, compared to Gillard, who isn't, and ain't entertaining either, so she loses on both accounts.

And as for the associated success (or not) of a leader, it's all show boating, political gaffs, and smoke 'n mirrors, we all typically end up paying more and getting less.

[Rick G]

Okie dokie we are not going to agree on Palin, she is not top on my list, but she is above many of the current crop of pretenders to the office. Lets get back to jokes.

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Hey, where did you get that?". The parrot replies, "SQUAWK - I don't know, it started as a boil on my a$$!".

[Kimbo]

A couple of visuals:

[Kimbo]

And a few more:

[Don]

Those are very funny.

[Mike9300]

That is crazy funny......

[Don]

eHarmony Video Bio

[Mike9300]

eHarmony Video Bio

LOL, I cry whent talking about VDUB sometimes......I love them, I want all of them, i want them all in a little basket!

 

[Rick G]

Somebody buy that girl a cat and take her home.

[Kimbo]

why ? why would anyone video themselves getting that emotional over anything and then actually post it as an intro/bio vid - it'd be interesting to compare the "I'm seriously interested hits" vs the "I just want to laugh at you hits"

That is one screwed up lady..... she needs a man, someone with charm-ness and suave-ness and sophistication, who can really drag the "cat lover" out of her...... Don: What are you doing tonight ?, I think I've found just the girl for you.....

[Don]

why ? why would anyone video themselves getting that emotional over anything and then actually post it as an intro/bio vid - it'd be interesting to compare the "I'm seriously interested hits" vs the "I just want to laugh at you hits"

That is one screwed up lady..... she needs a man, someone with charm-ness and suave-ness and sophistication, who can really drag the "cat lover" out of her...... Don: What are you doing tonight ?, I think I've found just the girl for you.....

I like cats
I really believe that video outlines the results of most online dating  experiences.
1- Person looks good
2- Share your positives
3- The real person comes out

Very funny

[Don]

[Rick G]

I can move like a cat, and don't object to wearing fur if I can get my tummy scratched

[Don]

Frisk Fail